this is the story of ella's birth.

This is the letter I wrote to one of my best friends, your Auntie Chan, to let her know that you were here and the journey we went on.

Hey Best Friend!

I could pretend that when I read your letter I cried because of my post baby hormones, but let’s be real. I cried because I have such a great best friend. You are seriously amazing, thank you for brightening my day even when you are so busy working on extremely important, eternal, life changing mission stuff.  I totally miss you and love you. Oh, and have I told you how proud I am of you?

So…..here goes Chan, the weekend that changed my life. Starting with Friday. My last day of work. That was a little bit crazy. I was planning on going in on Saturday to write my kids a letter and get a few more things done. My mom called me on the way home to tell me that she just decided to go to Vegas. I know. My mom being totally spontaneous all of the sudden. I laughed and was happy for her because she sounded so excited. She was going on a girls trip with Rhonda and Kami, they were going shopping at Charming Charlie and then coming home on Saturday afternoon. My mom gave me specific instructions NOT to have the baby while she was gone. I said, “Oh I wish that would happen, I am ready. But I don’t think she will come.” In my head I thought she was never going to come and if she did it would be on Cache’s birthday. I was a little/lot worried about that.

Friday night we went to JCW with Steve’s parents. Cache, Steve and I split some fries because we weren’t too hungry. So the last real meal I had was lunch from Friday afternoon which was a bowl of fruit. Then, we went to RC Willey’s with the Bournes. Cache LOVES RC Willey. It’s weird. We walk in and he runs and sits on a couch and says, “OH WOW! Comfy and Cool! I love it.” He comments on every piece of furniture and of course he has to test it out.  Then we went home.

Saturday at 2:00 a.m. I had a horrible pain…which was a contraction which I had never experienced before. They kept coming 1-4 minutes apart and I was looking up  stuff on the Internet trying to figure out what was going on. Silly me. Then I thought my water had broke. We decided it was time to go to the hospital. I called my dad to come get Cache and I wanted him and Steve to give me a blessing.

We got to the hospital at 3:00 a.m. We called my mom to let her know. Then they checked me and I was only dilated to a 2. But these contractions were KILLERS! I tell you what. The nurses called my doctor and he wanted me to stay for two more hours to see what would happen. Nothing. Nothing happened except for getting ridiculous uncomfortable checks and horrible contractions and me getting super hungry (that’s why I mentioned the Friday lunch). Nurses had a shift change (that’s how long we were there). At least the new nurse would wait for a contractions to be over before, ya know, sticking her arm up me like I was a puppet. Contractions were still 1-4 minutes apart and they hurt really bad, I can see why people get so anxious for an epidural. Then guess what happened. Nothing. They gave me a morphine shot and sent me home at 8:00 is in the morning. I didn’t even want to eat by that time. I just wanted to sleep and I did. I slept and slept and slept... as much as I could between contractions. Cache told me, “Mom you are missing THE WHOLE DAY!” and I did, but I was still tired. Steve’s parents came over and made us dinner that night. Adriene, Rhonda and my family came over to see our house. My contractions weren’t too bad at this moment and it was fun to have our families over at our home together. They left and I started unpacking the things I needed to get ready for bed since I wasn’t at the hospital with my baby quite yet. Oh, did I mention I did my make up super cute for baby before I left? I did. But she didn’t come.

Steve and Cache went to church on Sunday, Steve brought Cache home early because he was being a lil’ bit naughty. Then, the tree of us went back to church to watch T.J become ordained a Priest (can you believe that?!). It was fabulous. Another happy family moment for the weekend. I was happy that there were these moments over the weekend to help me get my mind off of everything.

My mom invited us over for dinner. Spam Musibi. You know how I LOVE that stuff so I was totally there. I put on work out clothes because I had been a walking fool the past couple of months, I read how it helps prepare the body for birth and contractions and ya know how I love a good workout. So I ate, then I digested, then I headed to the treadmill in my mom’s basement and I walked 2.3 miles on a 5% incline going as fast as I could which was a whole 2 mph.

Cache had spent the majority of the weekend at my parent’s house. They kept him Sunday night too so Steve and I could rest. Then, at 9:00 ish I had a VERY bad contraction. I didn’t want to go into the hospital just to be sent home again so I tried to wait it out. They hurt so ridiculously bad. I tried changing positions, but they would come and I couldn’t move. I tried a hot bath and when I realized they were getting worse I asked Steve to get me bowl of Special K with Strawberries just in case we did go to the hospital I didn’t want to go on an empty stomach.

I must’ve been a sight to see. Sitting in the tub, eating cereal, crying through contractions and then when they went away I would say, “Ok, they are done. I’m sure I’ll be fine. Let’s stay home.” Then another one would come and I couldn’t breathe or talk or move and I would try to get my voice to yell, “GET ME TO THE HOSPITAL.”

Yup, this went on for about an hour. I sat in our big rocker and they calmed down for 5 minutes and then it was too much. I didn’t put on make up, I just threw stuff back into my bag and we were out the door.

Every bump killed.  I was crying telling Steve how scared I was that they were going to send me home again and I was going to have to deal with this pain somehow. We got to the hospital and it was taking me cool minute to get in the building. We got to level 5. Steve called in and they opened the doors, only problem, I couldn’t move. The lady said, “Uhhh, are you two coming.” Steve looked at me with that helpless, what do I do, look and he said,  “She is coming she is just in a lot of pain.” Then it went away and I was back, signing in to the hospital. We didn’t call anyone until we knew for sure what was happening. They came and checked me and guess what?! I was dilated to a SIX! Woohoo I could stay and more importantly I could get the epidural!!!!!!!!! Which is exactly what I asked for. They have me the epidural, Steve almost past out. I was getting this huge shot when I hear Steve say, “Wow. I feel lightheaded.” Then I hear the doctor yell at him  to lay down and for the nurses to get him down. I looked over at my hubby and he was pale as a ghost. So I endured that shot solo mio. But it’s okay he more than made up for it.

So I will fast forward so you don’t spend your P-day reading this. We called our parents after I had the shot and we were ready to go. My doctor arrived at 11:00 p.m checked everything and told me he would be there until baby came, since I was going for a VBAC.

The night was a little bit rough. The nurse came back and I was dilated to 5 and then a 6 and so on….she said she had never been so unsure about a cervix before. The doctor broke my water and we waited to see if anything would happen.  For hours and hours I was only dilated to a 6. At about 6:00 in the morning the doctor came in and checked…still a 6. I had been praying/pleading all night for a successful VBAC. But I knew that I was blessed to be having her and that no matter what, as long as she was healthy I would be okay…but I was still praying so hard to not  have a C-section. The doctor looked at me and I asked him if he had bad news he said, “It isn’t looking too good right now. Let me check the schedule. Let’s have you lay on your left side to see if baby will move to a better spot for us.” Then he left and my heart was sinking. Steve was a rock. He totally believed in me the whole time. My parents and Mandi came over and Steve and my dad gave me a blessing and then they left. The doctor came back and told me since I was okay and baby was okay he would wait it out to see how things would go. I am SO grateful to him for being patient. The nurse came in to check me and I was dilated to a 9. The doctor came in and I pushed for less than 10 minutes and there was my beautiful little Ella. My own little miracle.

Throughout the night her heart had been dropping and when they would move me to my right side it would drop fast. Those nurses are fabulous at staying calm and keeping things calm, but at one time the nurse bust through the doors and told me to roll the other side and I was hearing the little heart beats slow down and it was scary.  She also had marchonium. When Ella came the cord was wrapped around her neck three times and Steve didn’t tell me until I asked him how scary it was that he told me she didn’t breathe right away. My doctor was amazing. Truly. The NICU came in and I held her for a few minutes and then they took her. But another blessing, she was back with me 45 minutes later. She is amazing.

So I got to deliver her the way I wanted and worked for. I got my little baby girl. And I got a stronger testimony. Chan, I prayed so hard. The blessings from both Steve and my Dad. I know you were praying for me. I had people who fasted for me and I am so grateful to everyone. Wow. I know that if hadn’t asked for those blessings, it all might have been a different outcome. I have never felt so blessed and loved by my family, friends and Heavenly Father in all of my life. Now, now I feel so much gratitude. Everything is great.  Not easy, but great.

I will send pictures soon. I love you! I am so happy you are spreading such a fabulous message. Especially after my experience with Ella.

I know that Heavenly Father is listening to us. I know that he loves us so much and wants us to be happy. Even the smallest requests he hears and answers us. Cache has been the best reminder for me. I will lose something (as usual) and if Cache notices me looking all over he will ask, “Mom did you pray? Say a prayer.” Then we will pray and at first I would get all nervous that Cache just knelt down to pray with me and I said this prayer asking to find my ring or phone or wallet or whatever and that I wasn’t going to find it. Or we would pray for something he lost and I would think oh no, what do I say if we don’t find it. But sure enough we would find it.

Keep up the amazing work. I am so excited for you to get to Armenia to show them what you’re made of.

Write to you soon.

Love,
Krista Kei mother of TWO!!!!

Taking the advice from Baby App

All of my little baby apps suggested that this week I should write down how I feel, what I crave, what I am thinking about, etc. You know, so I can remember the experience of being pregnant. First of all, I don't like the word pregnant, but that's all we got so here we go.
At first as I thought about this I was not in the best of moods (surprise, thank you pregnancy for my awesome mood swings), so I was thinking I feel tired. I feel awkward. I feel very round. I feel like I can't possibly get any bigger, though I know I will. I feel like 6 weeks seems so soon and I get nervous but then it changes to feeling so far away and I get impatient.
What I crave, to sleep through the night. To not have to visit the bathroom so much, to not have to worry about belching during my parent teacher conferences because I just ate dinner. I also want to be dripping in sweat after an intense round of kickboxing, instead of feeling breathless at the top of my stairs. I also crave COMFORT. To lay on my tummy or my back or even on my side without having to toss and turn all night.
Umm....food wise, nothing really. Smoothies. Yum. LOVE them, I want one right now. Seriously, that is all I want. Jamba Juice, Strawberry Dream, creamy deliciousness sent straight from above. Steve Bourne, he makes a crazy good green smoothie. Thanks babe, you will be making me one when you get home. Wow. I must be pregnant, I could go on and on and on about smoothies, and juice.
Moving on. I am thinking about not sleeping for a few months, packing a diaper bag again, being a slave to feeding time, getting baby girl's room done, getting Cache's room done, work....
But this "what are you thinking one is the best one", it's the one that changed my perspective and when I really think about it, I always end up feeling really positive about the future. What I really think about is how amazing it will be to get to  hold her in my arms, bringing her home to her big brother who has been so anxious and excited to finally get his baby. I am so excited to see Steve with his daughter, and to be able to do someone's hair. Not to mention someone to escape ESPN with me and take a trip to the mall. Someone to stand by my side when I say, "Seriously?! Please do not throw balls in the house." Or, "Umm...! Do we really need to be flying the helicopter right above my head right now?" I am also excited for us girls to get out there and play sports with the boys and show them how cool we are :). I am excited to have her in our family, watch her and Cache grow up. I am so excited for summer break because I will be there all day, everyday with my kiddos. I can watch them interact, I can spend time with them, I can learn how to juggle life with two kids without having to stress about work. I can just enjoy them.
As not comfortable as I am feeling right now, I am excited to see her face and Cache's face when we tell them that we are going to have another baby. I know, I sound crazy loco. But that is what we want. A family. We want our children to have each other's backs. We want lots of visitors when we are silver haired and wrinkly. We want to enjoy raising children because we know that it goes by so fast and before we know it, It will go back to where it started, me and him. Then we will sit down, reminisce and plan our next adventures together.

A Change of Address

That's right! After waiting and waiting we have finally reached the moment where we can say that we have had a change of address. We are feeling the love and blessings as we enjoy our new home and neighborhood.

 As we were packing I was visualizing my home's memory montage. You know, like in the old lovable sit-com Growing Pains or Step by Step? Where the family stands in their empty home and they recall memories that they've had in that home and you fade back to seeing the grown kids as children jumping down the stairs? I didn't think I would care too much because I have been wanting to move forever but sentiment did seep in as I thought of all the memories that little condo held. Here is the photo montage from 2510 (in no particular order)

 Cache went from newborn, baby, toddler to pre-schooler in this house

 We learned to be parents and loved (still loving) the journey of parenthood

 There was where Cache would sit while I cooked and fed him.

 We LOVED checking on the progress of our condo every chance we could get

 New home owners!

 Steve checking things out, making sure everything was okay during the walk through

 Family love

 Steve some how found room in our tiny kitchen to make some delish' cinnamon rolls

Also, in this picture Cache was being potty trained (so we deserved a treat!).

 Cache loving his baby sister

 Cache's room

 Look! I am a big boy and can go potty all by myself.

 This happened always

 We heart blanket forts

 Starting to pack up

I remember when Cache read Brown Bear, Brown Bear for the first time.

 I will miss our view. It was beautiful! But we have a super great view of Timp in our new home too.

Cache's running path

He blew out the candles at 2510 for the last time

Bringing Cache home

Cache in my tummy

Cache Prep

Our cows! The first time I saw the cows across the street I named most of them, then I decided it was a bad idea as I watched them get loaded on the truck to be transferred to a meat factory.

Steve turned the garage into his man cave

Cache's 1st Christmas!

It was our first home, it was where we learned to be a married couple, it is where I found out I was having our first child, the place where we brought Cache home. It was the home of majors firsts in the lives of the Bourne family. I remember sitting in our little living room across from Steve watching Cache take his first steps.
Here is to life, closing one door and opening another.