a loss of words.

Yesterday I was world's lamest mom. I was sick and sat around all day blowing my nose, drinking cough syrup and watching pretty little liars marathon. I know. Don't judge.

Last night I vowed I would do some thing fun with Cache. My great idea, the Bean Museum. 

Wow. That really backfired. 

This was our conversation on the way there.

C: I'm so 'cited to see dem animals!!

M: We are going to have so much fun money.

C: I'm goin' to the zoo, I'm goin' to the zoo, I'm goin' to the zoo! (said in cute sing-song voice)

M: Well this place isn't the zoo. It does have animals that we can look at, they just don't move.

C: Why.

M: .....Because they are sleeping? (Question mark because I was hoping he would by that)

C: That's a zoo.

M: Kind of...

...I didn't know what to say. It just didn't feel right to say,  "Well son, they are all dead. We are walking around looking at dead animals."

On our way inside...

C: I see the zoo!

M: It isn't a zoo. It's a museum, but it will still be fun. (Lying, I know terrible)

M: The animals won't move because they're not alive.

C: (Sees a massive moose through the glass door) OH! OH MAN! OH MOM!! HIS EYES ARE OPEN! HE'S NOT SLEEPING!

M: He probably won't move still because he's not alive. (Not sure Cache knows what alive means)

C: Oh he is big! Oh he doesn't move. Dats' weird.

In the African Safari section...

C: OH! What de HECK?! What is dat' lion doing to that deer? (I think it was a gazelle)AH! He's gon eat him!

C: Why aren't they makin' sounds?

Somewhere there was a sound of monkeys and Cache's face lit up like, "maybe my mom didn't bring me to such a lame sauce place after all."

C: I wan see dos monkeys! I am cited! Where are dey?

M: I dunno, let's look for them

We never found them.

Cache was freaked out by the lack of sound and movement. Not to mention the lack of body parts. 

He was so disappointed. Now I feel guilty and I am currently looking for a day that I have free to take him to the Zoo. With living, breathing animals. 

awkward.

On Tuesday Cache, Steve and I hit up Toys R' Us to find a birthday present for my nephew. Cache wanted to get him a power wheel so bad, he thought it was the greatest idea he ever had. Sadly we weren't able to do that, but we did get him a Fast Lane Hot Shot Flyer and Cache was okay with that.

If you go to Toys R' Us and you are walking past the airplanes you should stop. Look at the box the Hot Shot Flyer comes in. There is a typo. The description says that it "FILES UP TO 100 FEET!!" I personally thought it was kind of funny, but the ditzy side of me was a lil' bit worried that it didn't fly.

When I go up to pay I ask the girl at the checkout stand about toy and this was our conversation:

Girl: (monotone voice) Is this all for you today?
Me: (Probably way to cheerful for Girl's liking) Yes, thank you! Does this toy fly?
GIrl: (Looking at me like I am the least amusing person ever) Yes, it's a plane
Me: It says that it files, see?
Girl: That is just another word for flies. They just wanted to describe it differently.
Me: (Dumbfounded) I don't think that files is a synonym for...never mind
Girl: Do you want a gift receipt
Me: I guess they just made a typo.
Girl: Okay.
Me: Well, if it does end up filing instead of flying I can put that to great use... (nervous, awkward chuckle)
Girl: (clearly not amused) Do you want a gift receipt?
Me: Yes, thank you.

Girl's expression THE whole conversation.

Steve: (Laughing his head off in the background)

Charles

This is Charles.
Cache's first ever pet, and boy, did he love the little bug.

Charles came to us via toilet seat. That is right. I lifted up the toilet cover and there he was. I didn't realize it was a lady bug, I just saw a thing crawling on the toilet...so of course I had to scream.

Steve caught Charles from the toilet paper roll and I found him a home.

Cache LOVED watching Charles crawl around. Cache would trace the little bugs steps with his fingers.

Well...we had to let Charles go (hence the last picture)
Cache was pretty distraught. But I felt bad for the little bug when Cache got bored of just watching and decided to start shaking.

Thanks Charles for being our first family pet. We had a great 40 minutes together. This post is dedicated to Charles.

Wherever he may be.